mozy

Picture 2
Originally uploaded by BeeBs420

i backed up my computer :)

the definition of cold...

So, this weekend i shot with 11 photographers over 3 days...not bad in my opinion. Most of the shoots were on Saturday located at the Yankee Air Museum in Grosse Ile, Michigan. Basically, the shoot was in a unheated air hanger which was in the simplest terms, freezing! On top of that, almost every photographer i worked with either wanted me to be nude or in skimpy lingerie, a.k.a. not a good time for BeeBs. Now a lot of the photos I have seen thus far turned out beautifully, but that does not take away from the fact i was practically naked in the freezing cold for about 9 hours. Needless to say, I don't think I will be doing that again any time soon...and anyone who complains to me about being cold for the next few weeks will be severely punished. :)

Anywho, yesterday was probably the most relaxed I will be for a while. I love Sunday's because a lot of my favorite shows are on; Dexter, Simpsons, Family Guy, American Dad, Venture Bros., and of course Metalacolypse. Also, I barely even left my bed yesterday till about 6 PM, and that was just lovely. Sadly that will not be the case for a while.

This week is the last of school before finals and I have A LOT of studying to do, mainly in Plants and Society (plant biology and genetics), as well as Astronomy. Thankfully, my psych exam is a take-home, Digital Art is a pizza party, and Scene Painting is a finally project on exam day we have to finish in the allotted time. I feel like I should be getting A's on all of my exam's but I'm just a big worrier with stuff of that nature.

As for the upcoming holidays...there are definite pros and cons. My boyfriend, dog, and I will all be driving out to North Carolina to spend Christmas at my older brother and his wife's house. My young brother, and sister along with her boyfriend will be joining as well. I adore my older brother and his wife, and even when I find myself angry at my younger brother, it does not last long; so I'm looking forward to seeing all of them. It is a whole different story with my sister. Very recently she said something to me that was simply unforgivable. And because she is so stubborn and self-righteous, she believes there is no reason to ever apologize to me. All of that creates problems on their own, then when you add the fact she is brining her pill-head boyfriend I detest that she met in rehab, all hell breaks loose. I of course will be wearing my smiling face for the most part while I am at my brother's but i feel the tension rising as the days grow near and I feel that drama will sadly incur. I am hoping for the best.

In the end though, I feel like there will be more good than bad to come out of the next few weeks so I shall keep smiling and appreciating life.

-BeeBs

here is a song for the season...and from one of my favorite films ever made.

music inspired by the movie RiP and the feel of a concert.

fun online

my site :)

beebsgood

beebsgood
Originally uploaded by BeeBs420

giff file

shoot me now

Alright, let's do a recap of the week...Wednesday night - car accident; Thursday - dealing with insurance people and getting a temporary vehicle; Friday - 9 hour long photoshoot in Wyandotte, MI; Saturday - sore all day from photoshoot and just annoyed; Sunday - 4 year anniversary of my mother's tragic death [never a good day], also had to get a shit-ton of homework done; Monday - classes, need i say more; Tuesday - take a quiz and rush to get my scene painting project done; finally today - STRESSED OUT and about to find out if they are going to register my car as a total loss. So basically, this last week has sucked horribly. The only positive thing was probably the photoshoot just because those seem to center me for some reason.

Okay, so the car accident. Wednesday night I was leaving my photographers and all hell broke loose. I was going to turn left onto Monroe street [meaning I had to cross 3 lanes of traffic], the lanes furthest from me were clear and there was only one car coming toward me from the left in the lane closest to me. The car had their right turn signal on so I foolishly assumed they were going to turn onto the street before me. I started pulling out but soon realized that the car kept going straight so I slammed on my breaks. Before I had a chance to put my car in reverse, the other vehicle hit my front end and caused as of Monday an estimated total damage of about $8,400 [i bought my car in August, it's a brand new 2009 Kia Rio 5]. Today I am supposed to get a call telling me whether or not my transmission was damaged, given all the other damages I don't know how it wouldn't be. If the transmission is damaged then it will be registered a 'total loss' and I will be getting a check for how much my car would have been worth right before the crash. If not, I'll have to pay my deductible and wait till the 12th for it to be fixed. Either way, I just want this all to be over with.

Sadly the thing with my mom, if you really want to know, you can just google my name and it will pop up. The point is that i miss her dearly and Oct. 25 is always a day of pain for me and my family.

For the most part I have been trying to use any form of distraction to forget about all of this craziness. The song I am leaving you with today is one that seems to always help me to find peace when I have fallen into sadness.

And that's that.

-BeeBs

merl2

merl2
Originally uploaded by BeeBs420

shadowing with text :]

grid of multiples eyes including myself and friends :]

yay

Wow, I'm in a good mood lately. To start, Wednesday I was told i got 94% on my Fundamentals of Mental Human Health test, then on Thursday I received my Plants & Society test wich was completed with a score of 107%. Sooooo basically I'm amazing :]. In all seriousness though, I am very proud of myself, but I have a lot of work to do tomorrow for this class while finding time to talk to a photographer, and I have a canvas to finish Monday for another class. I feel like I have a lot going on right now, but it kind of keeps me balanced in a wierd way. The best part of Monday is going to be getting a new tattoo as a present from my boyfriend for getting good grades so far this semester, it's just going to be a small thing on the back of my neck though. Oh and I just remembered Dexter is on tomorrow [if you don't watch that show, you should].

On the other side of the spectrum is my health. I saw my doctor Thursday and she noticed a mild estrophia in my right eye, so adding that with my chronic headaches and visual confusion she decided i need to go see a Neuro-Optimologist and get an MRI/MRA. On the plus side she gave me Flexeril to help me sleep and ease my growing back pain. If you can't tell, I'm kind of falling apart physically. But oh well, I'm trying to stay somewhat optimistic, music will be the main thing to get me through this.

In other news, today was a seemingly good day. I baked a chocolate buttermilk cake yesterday from scratch and I took a piece to my friend Aaron who sold me my car, and I also took one to my friend Tracee. Tracee lives in Ypsilanti, so I love the chance to get out of town for a day and go visit her. For the most part I cannot stand girls, they bitch and are stupid, but the very few girls I am friends with a very unique fun individuals whom I adore. After model and halloween talk, we decided to watch Ghostbusters 1 AND 2...wonderful. Seeing Bill Murray always makes me want to watch the movie Stripes, but really almost anything with him is great. One interesting movie that is an all time fav of mine that you should check out if you haven't already is YPF [Young People Fucking], it's honest, funny, and just crazy good. I think my mind is being drawn toward watching Harold and Maude tonight though, I miss that movie. In fact, I think I am going to end the day early and put it in now. :]

-BeeBs

here is a song for the child in us all...and a movie trailer for the holiday.

content

Even though my health has been upsetting me, I'd be lying right now if I said I wasn't happy. I spent the last week studying for 2 tests [both over 6 chapters], one was this morning and getting done with it was the biggest sigh of relief. There was only one question that made me second guess myself, but everything else just came naturally. As stressed out as I get from school, it always makes my day whenever I realize I am doing well in classes.

Outside of school, my life is still full of drama, mainly because of my family. Friday I was feeling pretty good since I got to spend the day with my nephew and visit my grandparents. Seeing those three always puts a smile on my face. That night my younger sister came into town for a funeral [one of her friends died in a motorbike accident last week], so I dropped my nephew off with her so she could spend some time with him; i knew it would cheer her up. When my older sister came to get my nephew though, she was waring my sister's $150 Coach sandals so they had some words. Then, while my older sister was driving home, she got pulled over for speeding the second time this week, while having a suspended license so she started freaking out. In the end she was taken to jail and her boyfriend had to come down and pay her $1,000 bail. In my mind she's a total failure in life. Saturday I was in bed almost all day studying, so not much happened there. On Sunday I spent a lot of time with my younger sister and her boyfriend before they head back to Colorado today. I showed her how do Spray Paint Space Art and made her 2 paintings for her to take home. The path she is laying out for herself in life is very upsetting to me, which makes it hard for me to spend a lot of time with her, but art allows us to forget about everything else and just be happy together. I honestly hope her boyfriend dies though lol, I know that sounds cruel, but if you met him...you'd feel the same way.

The constant good in my life is all thanks to music, art, specific family members, my boyfriend and dog whom I share my home with, and mindless television. As long as those things stay the way they are, I think I'll be able to always find the positive in this cluster fuck I call me life.

-BeeBs

this blog's song is inspired by my happiness.

urban jungle

slideshow I composed to reveal the contrast of crumbling buildings with thriving greenery consuming them within the Old West End

distraction

sO I completely forgot to blog last night due to some unexpected events, but I have a free moment now and decided it would be best. I am relieved to write that my stress level has gone down considerably thanks to my family and our lawyers. This weekend was amazing; I got to see my nephew and my little brother. My nephew is probably one of the cutest kids I have ever seen and I enjoy any chance I get to babysit or visit him [his mother and I do not get along what so ever]. My brother and I however get along perfectly...

Sunday morning I dropped off my dog at a friends and then headed to West Virginia with my boyfriend to see my brother and friend Sam. Sam is not the typical type of person i spend time with, but he is very entertaining when you give him the chance. Morgantown is a beautiful city and I am very happy my brother is there and got out of Toledo, there's nothing left here for my family [the only reason I stayed was for my brother, and I am moving to CO next year now that he' gone]. The best part of Morgantown was Dorsey Park, there is a rock formation and once you're on top of it you can see the entire city; it's the highest point within 10 miles. The parties and the city were awesome but just spending time with my brother really helped me get a sense of normality again. I love getting out of town at least once a month and I wouldn't mind Morgantown being one of my regular visiting places.

I was nervous about having 5 classes this semester but I have found myself loving all of them. Each class is totally different but they are all things I love to learn about and find fascinating. Possibly my favorite class is Scene Painting, working over a canvas for 2 hours twice a week just centers me, anything with art does. Hence why I am going into the field of Art Therapy. I just hope the rest of the semester stays on such a positive note.

Writing got me in the mood for some art, but as always I will leave you with a song that has meant something to me this week...truth.

-BeeBs

drained

Wow...the last couple days I have felt completely exhausted. Yesterday was horrid; I have had carpal tunnel in my left hand for about 5 years thanks to crew, but for some reason it randomly decided to act up. It got to the point I could barely drive cause every time i turned the wheel i would get shooting pains throughout my hand. Oh well, I'm going to talk to my doctor about it next week and hopefully it won't be giving me anymore problems.

Today I did not awake to anything better, my hand still hurt some and I felt very ill. Still I suffered through my classes, got my groceries, and am doing homework. 13 ABC is making my life very arduous though by hounding my family members for an interview [thankfully my facebook and myspace are under alias's]. It really shocks me they they went through the effort to track down my sister on facebook asking her to speak with them after everything they did to us in the past. Either way, my grandparents will resolve the situation or I will ignore and be happy. I find it amusing that it is only the second week of school and it is already taking such a huge toll on my stress. Honestly I need school to keep me organized and focused though, this summer I was so bored and mindless, it's nice to have a daily distraction from my overly complicated life. My daily enjoyment usually comes from my boyfriend, music, and my dog, but today my scene painting class took the cake; nothing relaxes me more than art. Hopefully I can find a school close enough to Arcata, CA to transfer to next year that has a program.

Well, it's getting kinda late and I have barely eaten so I am going to have some din din and make some astronomy outlines for class tomorrow. Here's a song that has been circling my mind all day...Simple

-BeeBs

hhmmmmm

Hi, so I'm not quite sure what to write about so I think I am going to do a journal type thing as a trial run. I awoke today desperately in need of a day of nothing, and that is for the most part exactly what I did. Aside from taking my dog on walks/to the park, eating, and other basic necessities I was fairly able to lounge in bed almost the entire day and regale on two of my favorite shows [Stargate SG-1 and Arrested Development]. Typically I am not quite this lazy but after this week/weekend I really enjoyed the simplicity of nothingness. Possibly the best part of the day was getting to Skype with my little brother and little sister. For those who do not know, Skype is a program where you can talk, message, and/or webcam with others for free. I always enjoy Skype sessions with my younger siblings due to the fact I miss them a lot since they both left a couple weeks ago. Us three typically hang out as friends for the most part, go to each other's places, go to dinner, all of that good stuff so my life feels a bit empty with their absence. As of now it is roughly 8:45 and I feel that I need to be somewhat productive today so I am going to try and finish a painting I have been avoiding the past week. Once done, I may add the image my profile so anyone with interest can check it out. Till then...I think I will leave you with a link to a song that always seems to make me smile. Enjoy.

-BeeBs

Beta Band - Dog Got a Bone